The Making of..."Still"

At this point in my life, I was a couple months away from turning twenty, and I felt so still. Not stuck...just still. It was like I’d hit a plateau. I wasn’t falling behind, but I also wasn’t making moves. Up until then, it felt like I was always growing in some way, so that pause hit different. It was not only unfamiliar, but strong.

I had ideas of what I wanted to do with my art and creativity, but no real plan or roadmap. I didn’t know how to evolve, or even what “accomplished” was supposed to look like for me.

After finishing this piece, a quiet relief washed over me. It felt good to translate what I’d been feeling into something visual that I created. No reference photo, no Pinterest board, no outside influence, just me.

It also marked the moment I found a new appreciation for this medium. I’d been using watercolor for a while, but I always ran back to pencil and paper because it was “easier.” The truth is, I just didn’t want to be a beginner again. (That’s a recurring trait of mine… not proud of it.)

But this piece changed that. It made me feel accomplished. Like I’d finally found my rhythm.

Visual Breakdown

There’s something about the light blue wash in the background and the black underline beneath the figure that makes it feel like it’s floating or coasting, which fit exactly how I was feeling. The

"?" over the face pushes that sense of detachment and unknown even further.

I’ve never really added block lettering to my paintings before, but I grew up sketching graffiti-style letters, so it was fun to bring that back. The sweater sleeves being too long give this slouched, slightly deflated look, another little echo of that “coasting” energy.

There wasn’t a specific vision for the color palette… clearly. But somehow, it worked.

Made August 5,2025